So...as a clarification and maybe explanation for the previous post: I'm feeling a lot better and am indeed seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Joy and hope are back in my life. I hope that when people read the post below (if they do at all), they'll understand a little more about what it's like to have depression and anxiety, and that there are a lot of people suffering from illnesses that the eye can't see. I also think it's important to talk about anxiety and depression, especially with a message of hope because otherwise we're stuck with a lot of anonymous posts on yahoo answers that suggest alcoholism as a healthy coping mechanism. (for the record, yahoo answers is helpful exactly 0% of the time--if you want to see what I mean, just search for what to do about bedbugs. examples: "gross! whatever it takes!" and "unfortunately, you'll have to burn your stuff and sell your house and change your name and put your kids up for adoption"). Anyway, the point is, even if you have moments where anxiety and depression seem like your ENTIRE life, you need to know that there is hope and many people successfully handle the cards they've been dealt and still have the enthusiasm and pervasive awesomeness to select a SWEET, sunny yellow paint for their dark blue cave-pit of a basement (more on that later).
And now, to the point:
1. for the past two nights, we come home and see this black cat in the backyard. I've seen a black cat in the day too, so I'm always like, "Brandon! look--it's that little cat!" (yes, I am that excited and no, I don't know why). But it is NOT a cat. It is an evil, evil skunk rooting around our grass and killing it and making us really scared. With aim so amazing it cannot be overstated, Brandon threw an old, empty McDonald's cup at the black skunk in the black night and hit it! (sorry PETA!)
2. There is a huge spider web outside our house that stretches from the ground to the awning of the side door. I'd take a picture but it's basically invisible unless about 4 independent shadows converge on it at exactly the right moment and a ray of light shines down from heaven directly onto it.
3. I was on the phone with my mom, thinking about the spider web and the horrible huge brown recluse spider (I think) in the garage when suddenly something big and furry brushed against my hand. I screamed my I'M-BEING-ATTACKED-BY-A-SERIAL-KILLER scream that just pops out with spiders, house centipedes, and when I accidentally scare a baby chicken to death (this is a bad day for PETA). There were no spiders. Only a very frightened Greta who definitely learned her lesson about spontaneous signs of affection for her mommy.
4. Today I stood by the back door and hucked two empty cantelope halves all the way to the chicken's house. It turns out they LOVE cantelope. It turns out that I do too because I ate an entire one today (except for the empty shells, of course).
5. Even more than chickens love cantelope, squirrels love nectarines! I know because there was creepily a half-eaten one on our lawn yesterday when we came home from church and while Brandon and I were arguing over which one of us had to take care of it, a swarm of squirrels descended on it (like bad guys in a movie swarming over a good guy) and when they dissipated, there was no more nectarine (not even the pit!). So now I love squirrels! (I had to end on a positive note for PETA).
Anne, you're hilarious.
I'm glad you shared your current struggles with depression and anxiety. I have been treated in the past for mild depression, but never anxiety. I can't understand anxiety, but I think it's good that you're sharing your experiences. The only way that we can help others understand our private struggles is by talking about them. In that vein, I'm going through something similar right now.
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